American Horror Story: Roanoke Episode 1 Recap

via fxnetworks.com
via fxnetworks.com

I have been waiting for this show for my whole life I think.  I mean that’s what it feels like.  All the promo they did just hyped it up even more.  So let’s talk about this first episode.

We know that the season is set in Roanoke, VA.  There’s that. It’s a tv show reenactment type of format.  We are introduced to a couple Matt and Shelby Miller played by André Holland and Lily Rabe in real life, and by Cuba Gooding Jr. and Sarah Paulson in the dramatization.  I would love to find out why they have all these people playing the same characters and doing reenactments.

So this first episode we learn that this is the happiest couple ever and they have no problems and they live in LA.  One night after finding out she was expecting their first child, Matt gets attacked by some random people in a “knockout game”type of situation.  She loses the baby and he is in the hospital for awhile and then they decide to just move to Roanoke to a haunted looking ass house that was super cheap and that some people tried to scare them off from buying.  This is already ridiculous.

Of course things start happening but Matt is always away as a traveling salesman and everyone makes Shelby think she’s being crazy or making things up in order to move back to LA.  For instance one day it started hailing and when Shelby went outside it was human teeth falling from the sky.  But when Matt comes home there was no evidence of that.  The house is creepy is all get out and finally after she was nearly drowned by a ghost or something, Matt asks his sister Lee (Adina Howard irl, Angela Bassett in the dramatization) a former cop who was fired for a prescription drug dependency, to come stay with them.

Someone scares the Lee and Shelby and Matt comes back to see what happened and they all decide not to let anyone scare them away.  So Shelby decides to leave in the middle of the night.  She gets into her car and promptly hits someone (Kathy Bates) who is dressed all old timey and disappears into the woods.  Like a dumb dumb, Shelby follows her into the dark ass woods, and then all kinds of creepy stuff happens.

So basically we don’t know what’s going on yet.  The episode was so slow and boring, there was no real action until the last few seconds and yeah I get it, the Roanoke stuff is old ghost story territory but I was whelmed by this premiere.  Of course I’m gonna keep watching so I will post another recap next week.    I am waiting to see Evan Peters, Denis O’Hare, Lady Gaga and Cheyenne Jackson for sure.

P.S. Can we talk for a second about how weird it is for Angela Bassett to  play the sister of Cuba Gooding Jr. when she played his mom 25 years ago in Boyz in the Hood.  How crazy?

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